


It's A Date

by catewip



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Dancing, Everyone Needs A Hug, First Kiss, Fluff, Hugs, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24064081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catewip/pseuds/catewip
Summary: When lockdown becomes too much for Remus to bear, Sirius is more than willing to help with midnight walks, dancing and unwavering support.CW: anxiety
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 27
Kudos: 238





	It's A Date

It seems to happen all at once and yet in slow motion. Remus can do nothing but watch as the glass of water slips from his shaking hands and hits the tiles, shards of glittering glass scrape across the kitchen floor.

Just like the broken glass Remus finds himself crumbling to the floor, his breaths too laboured and his pulse too fast. If the glass hasn't woken Sirius, then Remus is sure the loud noise of his heart banging against his ribcage just might.

Sure enough, Remus hears rushed footsteps and Sirius' voice calling out from somewhere that sounds too far away to reach. A sob escapes his throat as he tries to pull all the pieces back together again, if he can just fix this then maybe everything won't be broken. Maybe he won't feel broken.

It was Sirius who had insisted they move in together when the quarantine started and although Remus had been unable to refuse, this was Sirius after all, he'd been determined not to let the other man see him like this. All he can offer Sirius in a way of explanation are little choked puffs of air and muttered apologies.

"Remus, it's alright." Sirius is on his knees now, grasping Remus' hands and pulling them away from the broken glass. "Is this an anxiety attack?" Sirius' voice is steady and calming, and Remus is relieved to find no judgement in his tone, simply a question. 

He finds himself nodding and muttering about lockdown and feeling trapped between ragged breaths, as Sirius brings him gently to his feet and guides him from the room. 

It's only when Sirius wraps a large heavy overcoat around his shoulders that Remus realises that Sirius hasn't guided him to the living room, or even his bedroom, but to the front door.

With a gentle push to his back, Remus finds himself outside on the doorstep, the cool wind welcome against his flushed face. The sharp cold from the concrete step surprises him as it quickly rises through his socks and he takes a moment to relish the feeling as it cuts through his panic, curling his toes and letting out a long breath, using the feeling to ground himself.

Sirius pushes Remus' trainers into his hands and proceeds to pull on his boots. In the back of his mind behind the haze, Remus can't help but think of how bizarre they both must look, standing on their front step in the middle of the night. Remus in his tartan pyjama bottoms, jumper and long black overcoat and Sirius in his grey sweatpants, black vest top, biker boots and leather jacket. 

With a firm grip on his shoulders, Remus looks up to find Sirius looking back at him with a gentle, reassuring smile. 

"See? You're not trapped." Remus feels the tight feeling in his chest ease at the simple statement as Sirius links his arm through his and guides him from the garden.

The city is deathly silent and Remus doesn't know if it's a help or a hindrance to his anxiety, all he knows is that Sirius' arm feels strong and sturdy linked with his own and he would do anything to keep it there. Would give anything to stretch out this moment in time where Sirius is supporting him, emotionally and physically as Remus allows his body to lean in just a little closer.

His courage is rewarded when Sirius leans back into him, pressing their shoulders together like they are huddled against the cold. Even though the breeze is gentle and pleasant Remus huddled closer still, allowing Sirius to lead them away from the house and down the empty residential street.

Sirius doesn't try to make Remus talk, and of that he's unbelievably grateful. They walk through the deserted city streets, through small empty alleyways and quiet weaving lanes. With every step Remus feels his heart rate slow, his breaths calming as his body settles into the steady pace that Sirius has set and in that moment Remus knows he would follow Sirius anywhere.

Remus feels anxieties grip on him slip slightly as he watches Sirius climb up onto a stone wall lining one of the city gardens. He can't help the little huff of laughter as Sirius extends his open hand out for his.

"I'm not climbing that Pads!" Relief seems to wash over Sirius' face at the old nickname and probably the fact that Remus is finally able to use full sentences again.

Sirius just extends his hand further, making a show of nearly over balancing, even though Remus knows that Sirius remains fully in control.

"Look, we shouldn't really be out here should we?" Remus can hear the slight tremble in his own voice, although if Sirius has noticed he doesn't point it out. 

Sirius drops himself to a seated position on the wall right in front of him and Remus has to resist the urge to step forward to stand between Sirius' legs.

"We're allowed out for an hours exercise, but they didn't say when." A grin Remus recognises as pure mischief spreads across Sirius' face. Remus holds his breath as Sirius reaches forward and gently pulls Remus towards him by the lapels of his coat.

"And you're following the rules all of a sudden?" Remus is glad that he can still muster a sarcastic tone. His body feels electric as Sirius chuckles and wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him into a warm embrace.

Encircled completely by Sirius, Remus feels the last of his anxiety dissipate, floating away on the soft breeze that is also brushing Sirius' hair wildly around them.

"It's alright Moons, we can go back if you want?" Remus finds comfort and melts all at once as Sirius runs his hand up and down his lower back. "Anything to make this better Rem."

It's with that declaration, and the fact that Remus is finding himself being far too comfortable standing between Sirius' strong thighs, that Remus finds his courage and moves into action. 

Withdrawing from Sirius' hold, Remus doesn't miss how Sirius hands follow him and linger slightly at his hips, Remus steadies himself against the wall and pushes himself up. 

Sirius' laughter is music to Remus' ears even as he struggles not to fall. Remus welcomes Sirius' arms for balance and allows himself to cling to the other man until he finds his footing. A laugh escapes his lips and Sirius beams back at him as they both make their way along the old wall. 

Remus can feel all the stress and responsibility lift from his shoulders and he feels unbelievably light and free from his high vantage point, reminiscent of being young teens when the world felt lighter and he was a lot less afraid. 

Sirius takes a running jump from the end of the wall and spins around to meet Remus, his arms stretched out high and wide. Remus knows that just like when they were teens, Sirius will always catch him. Sirius will always have his back. 

Remus takes a deep breath and jumps. He's met with strong arms and a welcome embrace as Sirius spins him around and returns him to his feet. Remus' heart warms as Sirius entwines their hands and he pulls him into the middle of the empty road. He drags Remus with him until they're stood in the centre of the silent street, the entire city asleep around them with only the light of the street lamps for company.

Sirius is illuminated by the soft glowing light and Remus stands in awe as Sirius draws him closer with a hand at his back and raises their entwined hands. Remus recognises the stance instantly from the dance classes James had insisted they all take to prepare for his and Lily's wedding.

Both men can't contain their laughter as Sirius takes the lead and slowly waltzes them through the middle of the normally busy city road. Anxieties completely forgotten, Remus feels his heart flutter for an entirely different reason as Sirius skillfully dips him. 

As the two slowly rise, Remus feels the atmosphere shift around them, the laughing replaced only by the sound of their breaths in the ever so small space left between them.

Sirius' lips hover so deliciously close that Remus can feel his warm breath tickle his lower lip, he realises that Sirius is hesitant, almost like he's silently waiting for permission. Remus can't help the grin that takes over his face, what Sirius doesn't know is that he has had permission to kiss Remus all along.

Remus has wanted to kiss Sirius since they first met on the train to school, since they became roommates and quickly friends, since that first drunken night when Sirius had held his hand and Remus had fallen so deep he could no longer see a way out.

Now Sirius stands before him, brash, beautiful and courageous Sirius, and yet he refuses to make the first move. Remus takes a moment to really look at him, to truly see him. From the burning want in his eyes, to the anxious lick of his lips, to the nervous grip of his fingers at the base of Remus' back. 

Summoning every ounce of courage he has, Remus closes the small space between them and presses their lips ever so softly together. For a second that feels like an eternity, Sirius remains still, then he returns Remus' kiss with such passion that Remus feels it all the way down to his toes.

"Wait... Remus wait." Remus feels the urgent whisper against his lips and his heart begins to sink. He tries to withdraw but Sirius holds him steady, placing a warm hand gently to his jawline, Sirius guides Remus to look up at him. Remus is met with a tender look that he can't decipher.

"Christ I want to kiss you so bad Remus! It's bloody killing me!" Remus' entire body heats at the declaration and Remus can't stop his lips from reaching up again on their own accord, but Sirius turns slightly pressing their foreheads together instead.

"So why don't you?" Remus whispers as he watches a wide range of emotions play across Sirius' face.

"I… just with everything, I want you to be sure" Remus considers Sirius' words and sincere expression and after a moment of confusion, it all fits into place. Remus realises Sirius doesn't want to take advantage of the situation and the knowledge warms his heart.

Remus nods softly as they both withdraw slightly, although Sirius links their hands together again as they begin to walk home, refusing to let go.

"I'm sure Pads. I've never been more sure." Remus replies confidently and he can hear the hitch in Sirius' breath. Remus has never been more certain of anything, he knows Sirius has always and will always be there, unwavering without judgement.

"Tomorrow night, I'll pick you up at seven!" Remus can't help but laugh as Sirius stops walking and swings him around so they are facing each other once more. 

"Sirius we live together - and we're in lockdown!" 

"So? If we're doing this we're doing it properly!" Remus' heart jumps and the butterflies return to his stomach at the thought that Sirius wants to do this properly, not just a kiss or a fling. Remus' heart is about to burst as Sirius excitedly lists his ideas.

"I'll meet you outside your room at seven, dress fancy! We'll have dinner, a movie and maybe drinks in the garden…" Sirius trails off, suddenly looking vulnerable as he gently squeezes Remus' hands in his.

"It's a date." Remus is met with the most glorious smile across Sirius' handsome face. He can't help but smile back as Sirius leans forward, placing a gentle kiss to his blushing cheek.

"It's a date."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the lovely Kattlupin for editing this, you're wonderful 💛


End file.
